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  • honordads 11:20 am on 09/08/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , , , mother   

    Don’t nigggerise me! A perspective on misandry.

    I don’t think that my mother ever saw my dad as a person; he was only ever a provider and a “handy man” to her and she would often scream at him to “do this” or “fix that.” She used him as a lever to assert her matriarchal dominance over the extended family, and even though I was too young to understand, I sensed that there was something wrong on an emotional level.

    I know that my father didn’t get much support from his side of the family, even though it would have been blatantly obvious to everyone how much my mother tormented him. Eventually he left my mother, and he was seen within my family as the one who broke the marriage rather than my mother, who always portrayed herself as having been wronged.

    At the time, I was told that he had gone off with another woman, and I was to believe that for another 20 years or so, although it was never true. He had actually left penniless, a broken wreck, and went into a mental institution with manic depression. Although he recovered somewhat, he never got off the pills. Later, he married a White woman and her colour was seen within my family as a particular affront to my mother.

    Looking back, and considering my own experiences of my mother in adulthood, I can now see how she must have made my father’s life a living hell. As a child, however, I was brainwashed into hating him without realising it. For example, my mother would relay her fantasies to me about how I would take revenge against my father on her behalf when I was older, including one scenario where I was to slap him across the face in front of an imaginary audience. If you ever try to tell anybody this kind of thing, they think you’re an immoral misfit because you just don’t say things like this about your mother. I carried on hating my father into my forties. To my great shame, my heart was so closed that I may never have known my father or ever got to see what kind of man he really was.

    Read the whole thing.

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  • honordads 9:01 am on 09/02/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , , mother, ,   

    Unexpected Dad: Life In 3-Hour Increments

    At the most recent doctor visit, our daughter weighed in at 6 lbs. 3 oz, so whatever stress or fatigue we feel as a result of the feeding schedule is worth it. Our daughter is gaining weight and growing, playing catch-up from her initial small size. There are nights where shifts go well, but she just refuses to calm down and go back to sleep; most nights all 3 of us get very little sleep. The thought now is that she has colic, that vague, nebulous diagnosis that apparently has no treatment and we must deal with for at least another month.

    So for now we live our lives in 3 hour increments, squeezing in sleep where we can, and looking forward to the time when baby will sleep through the night, or at least for 3 or 4 continuous hours.

    Good on ’em! When our first came along I quickly realized how little compassion I had for our pink screamer at 2 a.m. Went better when I took the late-evening shift (tuck-ins are fun for dads!!) and the 5 a.m. I-have-to-be-up-anyway-so-come-hang-out-with-me-kid shift. The Missus got a good night sleep on either end. 

    Every couple – and baby – benefit when they work as a team.

     
  • honordads 10:11 am on 08/29/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , , mother, ,   

    Patricia Dickson: Michael Brown’s parents responsible for his demise.

    It is clear by the video images showing Michael Brown grabbing a much older and smaller store clerk by the throat that the young man did not have respect for authority. The fact that there was some kind of confrontation with a police officer reveals that this young man had issues with authority. The first authority figure in a child’s life is the parent. If parents do not teach and demand that children respect them, there is a good chance that the child will not respect any other person in authority (e.g., teachers, police, and other adults).

    Honor your father and mother, that it may go well with you, that you may live long on the earth…

     
  • honordads 2:05 pm on 08/28/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , mother,   

    Art of Manliness: How and Why to Create a Family Mission Statement

     
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