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  • don bosch 2:09 am on 06/22/2016 Permalink
    Tags: dadbloggers, , fathers, honordads,   

    How Disney teaches contempt for Dads.

    “Every 3.24 minutes, a dad acts like a buffoon.”

    That’s the conclusion of a small study done by a student at Brigham Young University after watching eight hours of the two most popular Disney “tween” shows featuring families. The results of the research — “Daddies or Dummies?” — are not particularly surprising.

    Are “Good Luck Charlie” and “Girl Meets World” any different from previous sitcoms like “Roseanne” or “Home Improvement”? A 2001 study by Erica Scharrer in the Journal of Broadcasting & Electronic Media found that the number of times a mother told a joke at the father’s expense increased from 1.80 times per episode in the 1950s to 4.29 times per episode in 1990.

    But what’s interesting about the new research is that the author, Savannah Keenan, also looked at the reaction of the children on screen to their fathers’ displays of cluelessness. At least half the time, children reacted “negatively” to these displays — by rolling their eyes, making fun of Dad, criticizing him, walking away while he’s talking or otherwise expressing their annoyance.

    This behavior, especially on Disney shows, has become the norm to such a degree that parents regularly tell me they don’t allow their children to watch the channel. There’s no sex or violence — but there’s only so many times they want their children to watch their counterparts on screen ignore, insult or pretend to humor their parents for laughs.

    We should probably be most concerned when dads are the butt of the joke. Decades ago, when the place of men in the family and in the work world was clear, the use of comedy to make the powerful powerless was understandable and helped lighten the mood by humanizing the authority figure….Today’s sitcoms, by contrast, often show dads trying to act like mothers have traditionally — and failing miserably.

    Our oldest daughter was about 10 when we finally got cable. It went away a week later when The Missus realized how rapidly she was devolving into Lizzie McGuire. Not to mention the trash on all the other channels.

    We’ve never missed it.

  • don bosch 6:16 am on 05/14/2016 Permalink
    Tags: fathers   

    Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a $1 million Stradivarius to a gorilla.
    — Jim Bishop

  • don bosch 3:37 am on 03/24/2016 Permalink
    Tags: fathers, IVF   

    ‘It’s kind of bizarre’: Australian woman marries sperm donor father of her child

    Aminah Hart had her daughter three years ago with an anonymous sperm donor and the pair later met and fell in love before marrying at a quiet ceremony near Melbourne in December.

    Good to know the kid will know his Dad.

  • don bosch 5:13 am on 03/15/2016 Permalink
    Tags: , fathers, , weddings   

    Dads, Daughters, and Wedding Dresses (many more here)

  • don bosch 5:29 am on 02/26/2016 Permalink
    Tags: , , fathers   

    Dad wants teacher to explain why she didn’t let his second grade son use the restroom, and then made him spend the day in soiled pants.

    He ends up in handcuffs.

    Parents believe his arrest was retaliation because he demanded more resources for students from the principal. “We refuse to have a knucklehead principal with the help of the police coming into our communities treating us and our kids as future criminals,” said Fritz Vilton, a parent.

    As Prof Reynolds often notes, public education is a lot like child (and parent) abuse these days.

  • don bosch 9:56 am on 02/23/2016 Permalink
    Tags: fathers, nelle williams,   

    You got it from your father
    It was all he had to give
    So it’s yours to use and cherish
    For as long as you may live

    If you lost the watch he gave you
    It can always be replaced;
    But a black mark on your name
    Can never be erased

    It was clean the day you took it
    And a worthy name to bear
    When he got it from his father
    There was no dishonor there

    So make sure you guard it wisely
    After all is said and done
    You’ll be glad the name is spotless
    When you give it to your son

    Nelle A. Williams

  • don bosch 8:50 am on 02/23/2016 Permalink
    Tags: , fathers, goodmenproject,   

    Bumped (scroll down for updates)…

    Good Men Project: We can no longer ignore or downplay the ripple effect of broken families Even GMP is right once in a while.

    Related: Why Aren’t We Discussing Fatherlessness?

    Here we are at the beginning of an election year. We’ve had over a dozen debates between the Republicans and the Democrats. We’ve had plenty of drama. We’ve had surprising dropouts and upsets. But we have not heard any discussion of fatherlessness.

    Perhaps it seems like an odd complaint, wanting to talk about dads when we have so many other problems. Besides the huge foreign policy issues of American action abroad and immigration policy on our borders, we face depressing domestic issues such as the lagging economy, rising health care expenses, the ballooning federal budget, and flailing educational achievement. But those domestic issues are actually the reasons I wonder why we are not talking about fatherlessness.

    Fatherlessness is on the rise. It is causally linked to an array of social risk factors. While there are success stories in single-parent households, children raised without a father in the home are more at risk for dropping out of school, using drugs, having emotional problems, and becoming involved in crime, just to name a few.

    Each of these individual risk trends can impact health care expenses, education, the budget and economy as well as public safety. Taken together they look like the root problem for many of our societal ills. The body of research confirming fathersimportance grows. We even have studies looking at the stunning public cost of fatherlessness. Yet our politicians do not discuss fatherlessness as a policy matter.

    For the Republican side, I have a theory: the “War on Women” smear hovers ominously over all Republicans, especially men. Republican politicians have been threatened to within an inch of their funding if they mention anything that could be turned into a sexist trope. But claiming that dads matter isn’t at risk of becoming a sexist trope, it is a favored sexist trope. Feminists have been turning dads into patriarchal, sexist abusers for decades. Granted, this is falling out of favor among younger feminists. Older, Boomer feminists hide their anti-male assumptions behind pro-woman rhetoric; only the younger feminists don’t like the sleight of hand. Feminists as a group, however, are just realizing their gender gap and trying to come to terms with it. While they sort that out, our politicians remain cautious. They are too afraid to discuss fatherlessness beyond personal stories.

    Answer: (a) Fatherhood has lousy lobbyists in D.C. (b) Nobody’s afraid of them. (c) They’re too busy working to support their families. (d) All of the above.

    UPDATE: From a related comment, “It’s a good question. Of course, she fails to ask: why aren’t we discussing the incentives government gives mothers to kick fathers out of their children’s lives?”

    Good point. Earlier thoughts on federally-funded child support sweatshops here.

  • don bosch 5:48 am on 01/30/2016 Permalink
    Tags: , , , fathers, , ,   


    Headline: Pentagon extends maternity and paternity leave for military families.

    military-father-and-babyDefense Sec. Ashton B. Carter announced a series of initiatives on Thursday designed to make the military a more family-friendly employer, extending maternity leave across the force and expanding access to child care and expensive reproductive technologies.

    “As we introduce today’s reforms, our calculation is quite simple,” Carter told reporters at the Pentagon. “We want our people to be able to balance two of the most solemn commitments they could ever make: a commitment to serve their country and a commitment to start and support a family.

    As part of the new measures, the Pentagon will now provide 12 continuous weeks of paid maternity leave for all uniformed service members. That will be a major jump for many service members, including those in the army, who now receive only 6 weeks of paid leave. It’s likely to be a disappointment to members of the Navy and Marine Corps who, under a change last year, receive 18 weeks of paid maternity leave. Carter said members of those services who are currently pregnant will be granted 18 rather than 12 weeks.

    “Twelve weeks is extremely generous … It puts us in the very top tiers of American employers,” Carter said. “But then, you have to balance that against the readiness costs associated with it.”

    Paternity leave will increase from 10 to 14 days.

    Because fathering is only 1/6th as important.

  • don bosch 8:06 am on 01/27/2016 Permalink
    Tags: courts, , fathers, , law enforcment,   

    #HowToDad: Dallas dad not guilty for taking tween daughter’s phone:

    During the two day trial Jackson’s daughter, now 15, took the stand and testified about her father taking her phone. “It was the last thing as a mother I wanted my daughter to go through,” Steppe says. “I’m always here for my kids.” Steppe said she was confused by the verdict because she purchased the phone and maintained cell phone plans under her name. “Even if you purchase something with your own money and have a receipt, it’s not yours,” Steppe says. “Someone can take it from you.” Jackson says the ordeal has permanently ended any chances to have a relationship with his daughter. “I have to separate myself from them,” Jackson says. “I can’t ever have a relationship with them again.” Gray says the case is not over. He says he plans to file a federal complaint for civil rights violations for the way his client was treated by the Grand Prairie Police Department and the city attorney’s office. Jackson still has the phone.

  • don bosch 10:25 am on 09/08/2015 Permalink
    Tags: Crayons, fathers   

    Dad Finds Genius Way to Re-purpose Crayons for Children’s Hospital Patients.

  • don bosch 9:17 am on 08/29/2015 Permalink
    Tags: , fathers, hebrew, , , ,   

    Unless Adonai builds the house,
    its builders work in vain.
    Unless Adonai guards the city,
    the guard keeps watch in vain.

    In vain do you get up early
    and put off going to bed,
    working hard to earn a living;
    for he provides for his beloved,
    even when they sleep.

    Children too are a gift from Adonai;
    the fruit of the womb is a reward.
    The children born when one is young.
    are like arrows in the hand of a warrior.

    How blessed is the man
    who has filled his quiver with them;
    he will not have to be embarrassed
    when contending with foes at the city gate.

    — Solomon

  • don bosch 10:44 am on 08/28/2015 Permalink
    Tags: Christopher Morley, fathers   

    When one becomes a father, then first one becomes a son. Standing by the crib of one’s own baby, with that world-old pang of compassion and protectiveness toward this so little creature that has all its course to run, the heart flies back in yearning and gratitude to those who felt just so towards one’s self. Then for the first time one understands the homely succession of sacrifices and pains by which life is transmitted and fostered down the stumbling generations of men.

    — Christopher Morley

  • don bosch 9:44 am on 08/28/2015 Permalink
    Tags: adam lanza, dylan klebold, elliot roger, fathers, serial killers   

    Every shooting incident is followed by an interview with a stunned father.

    Stunned Vallejo neighbors expressed surprise and anger as national media swarmed the home of the father of a man suspected with shooting to death a television reporter and cameraman during a live broadcast Wednesday morning from a shopping center in Virginia.

    The Media seem bent on finding the killer’s motives in his dad. As if he was the one who had taught his son to kill. Dr. Evil Junior. Or somebody who knew his son would kill but did nothing.

    In fact, they inevitably find him to be a kind man, a “perfect gentleman.” Or, more often, a man who was absent or estranged from his son. But always a man shocked as anyone that his son (Elliot Roger, Dylan Klebold, Adam Lanza) could have done something so impossibly awful.

    That said – and without judging any of these dads – can you recall a shooter’s father being a strong, masculine, and faith-filled man, actively engaged in his son’s life? I can’t.

  • don bosch 2:57 pm on 08/27/2015 Permalink
    Tags: fathers, ,   


    I took my father for granted
    never thought him courageous,
    A clean watchful man
    who never raised his voice;
    never stood at a barricade
    but quietly held his course.
    Never unjust to the young,
    never betrayed his trust.
    Secret in his love.

    Now I know
    the small disciplines of day by day
    spoke for a valiant heart.

    — Henry Chapin

  • don bosch 12:15 pm on 08/22/2015 Permalink
    Tags: , fathers,   


    The thing to remember about fathers is, they’re men.
    A girl has to keep it in mind.
    They are dragon-seekers, bent on improbable rescues.
    Scratch any father, you find
    Someone chock-full of qualms and romantic terrors,
    Believing change is a threat —
    Like your first shoes with heels on, like your first bicycle
    It took such months to get.

    Walk in strange woods, they warn you about the snakes there.
    Climb, and they fear you’ll fall.
    Books, angular boys, or swimming in deep water —
    Fathers mistrust them all.
    Mend are the worriers. It is difficult for them
    To learn what they must learn:
    How you have a journey to take and very likely,
    For a while, will not return.

    Phyllis McGinley

  • don bosch 11:44 am on 07/30/2015 Permalink
    Tags: fathers, ,   

    Alisha Perkins: We All Fall Down

    As many of you know these last few games for Glen have not been his best. He has made a few bad pitches and unfortunately they happened at the worst possible times. Up until this point in the year he had been perfect,literally 100% perfect in every save opportunity, and of course everyone was loving it. But as we know no one is perfect except the great man above and it was destined that at some point that he would fail just like every other human being on the planet.

    Again, at home we tried to make the best of a bad situation and use it to show our kids that even the best of the best fall. We told them that Daddy would rise above and succeed again, and that the world may demand perfection but sometimes all you have to give is your very best which might not always be impeccable.

    A lesson their daughters will remember long after Dad has hung up his glove.

  • don bosch 7:49 am on 07/23/2015 Permalink
    Tags: , fathers, reading   

    To Parents: Keep reading out loud.

  • don bosch 9:39 am on 06/30/2015 Permalink
    Tags: , fathers, grandparents,   

    #HowtoDad: Father, Grandfather rescue boy from gator

  • don bosch 9:00 am on 05/26/2015 Permalink
    Tags: D-Day, fathers, ,   

    Family traces father’s military journey through World War II

    Polisano Snyder first suggested to her sister the idea of retracing her father’s steps through Europe in 2013. As she uncovered more information, they both became more enthusiastic about the idea.

    There is a growing trend of Americans going to Europe to visit one of the 14 overseas cemeteries related to World War II, said Tim Nosal, chief of public affairs for the American Battle Monuments Commission, based in Virginia. 

    “It’s a little bit more affordable (traveling to Europe),” said Nosal. And the 70th anniversary of D-Day last year and the 70th anniversary of the end of World War II in Europe this year have kindled people’s interest. “People are looking more into family history.” 

    Polisano Snyder said that for her, the trip would be part of her healing process. “I just want to be there and feel my father’s presence,” she said. “I think I’m going to feel my father’s presence. I want to honor him — not just him, but honor all the soldiers that fought in that war and gave us our freedom.”

    Good that a few are learning about our history’s heroes.

  • don bosch 7:07 pm on 05/16/2015 Permalink
    Tags: fathers, , ,   

    3 Things A Law Student Learned From The Death Of His Father

    Maybe it isn’t in our culture to give our parents their proper due, but we should make a sincere effort to thank them for everything they have done for us. Like many parents, my dad made thousands of sacrifices without any expectation of something in return. My dad was excited to become a grandfather. Unfortunately, he never got the chance to become one. His death taught me that even as we become singularly focused, we should remember to thank those who have helped us get where we are today.

  • don bosch 10:27 am on 05/13/2015 Permalink
    Tags: black fathering, , , fathers   

    #BlackDadsMatter: Are Fathers Really Optional & Irrelevant? Author Josh Levs talks black fathering and paternity leave with News One.

  • don bosch 9:51 am on 05/13/2015 Permalink
    Tags: fathers,   

    Thomas Farragher: A son’s salute to a father, 70 years later

    Related: William Styron: A Father’s Prophecy

    I’ll never forget his high moment of prophecy. He was employed by Newport News Shipbuilding, then as now the largest private yard in the nation, where as a middle-level engineer he helped create such behemoths as the aircraft carriers Ranger, Yorktown, Enterprise, Essex, and Hornet. One of my luscious childhood memories is of being taken to the launching of Ranger, the first American carrier built from the keel up, and of watching the wife of the president, Mrs. Herbert Hoover (whose slip was showing), make three attempts at bashing a champagne bottle over the ship’s prow before she succeeded, drenching herself in a sacrament of foam. The shipyard adjoined an apartment building where we lived and where the bedlam from riveting hammers and pile drivers and other machinery caused my mother hectic distress. As if this noise weren’t enough, there was often the roar of the new B-17s—the Flying Fortresses—as they climbed out of Langley Field, sometimes joined by the racket of naval fighter planes, and on one such hot summer day my mother had been driven frantic. Ordinarily a patient and reasonable woman, she began to complain bitterly of the ghastly noise, its effect on human beings, the waste of money, the chaos, the futility—all, she said, to maintain a bloated military establishment in peacetime. My father, usually so gentle with my mother, erupted, calling her an ostrich, blind to reality. “We are preparing for war!” he exclaimed with a gesture toward me. “For a war which I pray our son will survive and—if we’re lucky—wars our grandchildren will survive, too. War, my dear, is the destiny of this nation—was, is now, and ever shall be. We will be fighting wars forever—as long as we have the money and the guns!”

  • don bosch 8:10 am on 04/27/2015 Permalink
    Tags: , fathers,   

    Father and Daughter Publish Two Books About Rare Bone Disease

  • don bosch 12:52 pm on 04/24/2015 Permalink
    Tags: , fathers   

    Dana Perino: President Bush gave me my Dad back.

    DP: The president knew about my relationship with my dad…he knew about how I’d felt sort of abandoned after my parents divorced, even though I was 28. So one day after the invitations had gone out, I’m on Marine One waiting for the president to board so we could go to Andrews Air Force Base. He gets on the chopper and he’s looking out the window, and he says, ‘so, I see you invited your dad to the White House.’ And I said, ‘yes sir, I did.’ He’s still looking out the window, waving at everyone down below, and he said, ‘that’s a big deal.’ [I responded] ‘Yes sir, it is.’ Just then, we were passing by the Washington monument, and I’ll never forget it because he looked right up into my eyes, and he said, ‘I am so proud of you.’ And that meant so much to me because he knew how big of a deal this was.

    So my dad comes to the White House. It’s Italian-American fest, okay? You’ve got Giuliani, and Alito, and Scalia, and Peter Pace, and I could go on. They all know me, and they’re giving me hugs, and they’re so excited to see me, and I think it was kind of overwhelming for my dad. He wasn’t saying much. He was just observing and smiling — trying to play it cool. We get into the line to be announced by the military aides to see the president for a photograph, and before they could say our names, the president stops them and says, ‘I know who this is! Leo Perino, we have been waiting for you for years. We are so excited that you’re here. Have you met Condi Rice? Do you want to meet her?’ He takes my dad off my hands, and I never saw him again ’til the end of the night. The president took him to meet the Cheneys, (he sat next to them for the dinner), and [Bush] took him around to see some of the paintings and historical artifacts.

    As we were leaving, my dad and I were walking on [West Executive Drive] to get to my Jeep. And I said, ‘it sure is something, isn’t it?’ My dad said, ‘yeah, it’s really cool.’

    GB: Wow.

    DP: It was great, and it meant so much to me because that restarted my relationship with my dad.

    When you have a great relationship with your Father, it’s natural to want that for others.

    Related: 5 Things I loved about “A Portrait of My Father”

  • don bosch 8:01 am on 04/23/2015 Permalink
    Tags: fathers,   

    #WhosYourDaddy: Dad Has Rights After Turkey-Baster Pregnancy, Court Rules.

    After several visits from Boardwine in June 2010, Bruce learned the next month that she was pregnant.

    Everything went well for a while, with Boardwine visiting and bringing a stuffed bear and baby clothes. But their expectations for the future were different. Bruce testified in the lower court that she wanted Boardwine to be only as involved as her other friends. He envisioned a more active role — attendance at the boy’s sporting events someday, and a voice in major decisions.

    The relationship soured when Bruce rejected Boardwine’s suggested name for the child. They didn’t speak for about five months, until the boy was born and Boardwine showed up at the hospital. Later visits to Bruce’s home were “sort of strained,” the woman said, and she eventually told Boardwine to stay away.

    That’s when the father went to court.

    I’m surprised she hasn’t gone after him for child support yet.

  • don bosch 7:55 am on 04/23/2015 Permalink
    Tags: , , fathers,   

    21st Century Parenting: Dad watches over daughter with drone.

  • don bosch 11:01 am on 03/31/2015 Permalink
    Tags: fathers, ,   

    Are you being intentional about teaching your son the right way to treat women?

  • don bosch 10:21 pm on 03/22/2015 Permalink
    Tags: , , , fathers, ,   


    Mice raised without fathers are more aggressive. “Children raised without a father are at greater risk of deviant behavior later—and girls in particular may be more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol—according to a new study with mice. While many studies have outlined the value of a mother, few have clearly defined the importance of a father. Researchers say this is the first study to link father absenteeism with social attributes and to correlate these with physical changes in the brain.”

    Father’s absence causes early puberty in girls. “Girls in homes without a biological father are more likely to hit puberty at an earlier age, according to a new study. Absence of a biologically related father in the home predicted earlier breast and pubic hair development—but only for girls in higher income households. The findings held even after the girls’ weight was taken into account.”

  • don bosch 2:46 pm on 03/22/2015 Permalink
    Tags: , , fathers,   

    My Dad the serial killer:

    KIM: Melissa began to write her dad letters. She would also call him and update him about her life.

    MOORE: I would tell him about my grades. I would tell him about the dances that I was going to at school. And also, I would ask him for advice. I really wanted to have fatherly advice and wisdom just like he used to give me. My father’s advice was really good most of the time. I felt like the letters that I received from my dad were a different side of him. Instead of him signing the letter with a smiley face, he was signing, love, Dad. Thick or thin, I would still be his daughter, and he would still be my dad. Even though he can’t physically be there for me, he could maybe be there emotionally for me.

    KIM: As time goes by, Melissa goes to college, gets married, has two kids. And for 10 years, she tried her best to keep him in the loop. Still, she never mentioned him to her kids. Melissa says that most people won’t understand. But she knew that her dad, Keith Jesperson, was a serial killer – one of the worst ones. And still, she also knew that the same man was a loving father.

  • don bosch 7:03 am on 03/16/2015 Permalink
    Tags: coaches, fathers, ,   

    Sports: New Pitt coach Narduzzi learned toughness, love of football from father.

    Related: Rays don blue socks in classy and indisputably awesome tribute to Grant Balfour’s father David.

    More: Father-daughter combination leads South Salem to title

    People always tell me how hard it is to coach your own kid, and a lot of times it is, but she made it all worthwhile just because she worked so hard and she supported what I did and we did it together, and it was just a lot of fun. I can’t wish anything better for her than what happened. I’m happy for all the girls, but it’s a little more special just because my kid got to be a part of it.

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