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  • honordads 5:48 am on 01/30/2016 Permalink
    Tags: , , fathering, , , ,   


    Headline: Pentagon extends maternity and paternity leave for military families.

    military-father-and-babyDefense Sec. Ashton B. Carter announced a series of initiatives on Thursday designed to make the military a more family-friendly employer, extending maternity leave across the force and expanding access to child care and expensive reproductive technologies.

    “As we introduce today’s reforms, our calculation is quite simple,” Carter told reporters at the Pentagon. “We want our people to be able to balance two of the most solemn commitments they could ever make: a commitment to serve their country and a commitment to start and support a family.

    As part of the new measures, the Pentagon will now provide 12 continuous weeks of paid maternity leave for all uniformed service members. That will be a major jump for many service members, including those in the army, who now receive only 6 weeks of paid leave. It’s likely to be a disappointment to members of the Navy and Marine Corps who, under a change last year, receive 18 weeks of paid maternity leave. Carter said members of those services who are currently pregnant will be granted 18 rather than 12 weeks.

    “Twelve weeks is extremely generous … It puts us in the very top tiers of American employers,” Carter said. “But then, you have to balance that against the readiness costs associated with it.”

    Paternity leave will increase from 10 to 14 days.

    Because fathering is only 1/6th as important.

  • honordads 8:22 am on 08/24/2015 Permalink
    Tags: fathering, medical,   

    21st Century Families: ‘Boyfriend’ seems too small a word for the father of my child.

    I answered the phone, wedging it into that underrated nook between jaw and shoulder as I simultaneously washed a baby bottle. “I’m a nurse,” said the lady’s voice. I got that sucker punch of worry in the gut. I was about to start work, and my boyfriend had taken our baby daughter for her routine injections. “Is the baby OK?” I said. “Oh yes,” she went on. “I just wanted to check you knew she was here. We have to ask.”

    I affirmed that it was fine, thought the call was slightly weird, and went back to chiselling what looked like dried Horlicks off the kitchen floor.

    It turned out the nurse had seen that the baby’s parents had different surnames, asked why I hadn’t brought her in, and said that she would need to get my permission for the vaccinations because we’re not married. If it had been me who had brought her in, no phone call would have been made to anyone else.

    A shame that “He’s the kid’s Father” doesn’t carry legal weight anymore.

  • honordads 9:22 am on 02/12/2015 Permalink
    Tags: , fathering,   

    Warm father or real man?

    The importance of fatherhood to the achievement of certain ideal of masculinity has ebbed and flowed across the twentieth century; it could both prove and challenge a sense of manliness. Today we see plenty of evidence of men proudly displaying their fatherhood—the man with a pram or carrying a baby in a sling isn’t so rare any more. Yet, in every generation there are more or less involved fathers; plenty of men throughout the twentieth century, and much earlier, enjoyed spending time with their children and felt close to them. Today, women, for the most part, still take on the burden of childcare, even if there are plenty of couples who do things differently. Historical research helps question the idea that the ‘new man’ of the last couple of decades is quite so new—and by thinking about how fatherhood relates to masculine identity, we can better understand changes to parenting and gender roles over time.

    I would pick “C.  All of the above” myself.

  • honordads 8:18 am on 12/18/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , fathering,   

    An Amish Man – A rare, nuanced glimpse into modern Amish life shows deep faith, simplicity and, increasingly, compromise.

    a Video by Philip Bloom (11 minutes)

  • honordads 2:43 pm on 10/30/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , fathering, ,   

    You will find that if you really try to be a father, your child will meet you halfway.

    — Robert Brault

  • honordads 7:16 pm on 10/16/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , fathering, , mentors, Mike Adams, townhall   

    Mike Adams – Ten at Fifty

    Among the most important lessons I have learned is that personal happiness is not possible without a concerned effort to focus on two key factors: gratitude and encouragement.

    If one makes a concerted effort to be grateful for one’s blessings it becomes virtually impossible to be overwhelmed by resentment over life’s shortcomings. Resentment and gratitude cannot coexist. You must choose one or the other.

    Similarly, if one makes a concerted effort to provide encouragement to other people then it becomes very difficult to be overwhelmed by your own circumstances. The happiest people are always those who provide encouragement to others, rather than seeking it for themselves.

    As I approach the half-century mark, I thought it would be good idea to take some time to express gratitude to the people who have most impacted my life to this point. There are many of them but ten people come to mind immediately. They are listed below, alphabetically by first name.

    Here’s Part II.

    What’s your list look like?

  • honordads 12:19 pm on 10/11/2014 Permalink
    Tags: fathering, , ,   

    The Father Factor: How to Avoid Being a Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Dad

  • honordads 12:11 pm on 09/11/2014 Permalink
    Tags: fathering, , Ray Liotta   

    That Time When Ray Liotta Punched Me in My Fathering Face

    The Identical is about a son (played by Blake Rayne) of a preacher (Liotta), who rejects his father’s desire for him to join his line of work. Instead of preach, the son loves music and wants to do that silly stuff that people from Tennessee do—like write and sing music. We follow Ryan Wade as he struggles to live out his dream all the while his father is disappointed. There’s secrets to uncover and successes and failures all along the way; but after all is said and done, this is a father-son film.

    As a dad, I can get some things right. I can have an honorable career, provide a roof and food and come home at a decent hour each night. Yet if I’m not careful about how I value my relationship between work and family; I risk having a real relationship with my daughters. Watching the father-son relationship in this movie reminded me to be careful about how I manage work and family. Basically, Ray Liotta punched me in my face.

    I get the analogy, thought it may raise eyebrows with this going on.

  • honordads 4:29 pm on 09/03/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , fathering,   

    Seeing my father on his deathbed made me forgive all the wrong he did – My father didn’t want to be absent. He was simply unable to communicate.

  • honordads 8:30 am on 09/03/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , chores, , fathering, , , ,   

    A Young Dad’s Advice for Helping Toddlers Get into Doing Chores.

    If you respect your kids, expect excellence, and lay out clear and fair directions, you’ll find them ready and willing to help out. At least until they’re 15.

    The Missus got a lot of mileage out of this book too.

  • honordads 11:00 am on 09/02/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , fathering, , teenagers   

    When it comes to dads, teens and household chores – humor helps.

  • honordads 2:58 pm on 08/29/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , fathering, , , risk taking,   

    Roughhousing Lessons From Dad – Fathers Teach Risk-Taking, Boundary-Setting; Learning From ‘Sock Wrestling’

  • honordads 11:12 am on 08/29/2014 Permalink
    Tags: fathering   

    Help! How can I stop my wife chopping off our baby boy’s foreskin?

  • honordads 9:35 am on 08/27/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , fathering,   

    Reddit helps with A father’s last wish:

    For the second time in a few weeks, the lovely users of Reddit have helped a grieving father with photos of his beautiful baby.

    Reddit user Jstefut posted a photo of his young son who died a few years ago. Because his son was in hospital during his short life, his father only had photos of him with tubes and wires attached.

    Having seen the amazing response a similar post on Reddit received last month, he posted the image online and asked if anyone could help remove the tubes.

    His message read: “Photoshop Request: My son passed away a few years ago after two short weeks in the hospital, and I have no pictures of him without all of the tubes.

  • honordads 8:38 am on 08/26/2014 Permalink
    Tags: fathering, ,   

    Is CNN ignoring the fact that Michael Brown has a father? 


  • honordads 8:28 am on 08/26/2014 Permalink
    Tags: fathering, ,   

    Dennis Prager’s thoughts on the death of his Father. Too much wisdom to excerpt here. Just go read the whole thing.

    Sorry for your loss, brother, and praying for you ‘n yours.

  • honordads 8:23 am on 08/26/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , fathering,   

    Survey: 80% of Dads Say Media Portrayals of Fatherhood Wrong

    Well this is a pleasant surprise: the media incorrectly depict fathers, according to today’s dads – and, for once, the media agree.

    Just in time for Father’s Day, soap brand Dove hired Edelman Berland to survey 1,000 dads for Dove Men+Care. The dads challenged the media’s representation of fathers – with 80 percent agreeing the media fail to portray fathers roles accurately. When asked what attributes describe fathers in the media, dads most frequently responded with “disconnected, bumbling and incompetent.” Videos Below.

    In regards to the media, Dove explained, “Three quarters of dads say they are responsible for their child’s emotional well-being, while only 20% of dads see this role reflected in media.” Other findings included: “Dads today are caring for their children’s emotional well-being (74%) and taking responsibility for their daily needs (51%).”

    The company concluded, “It’s time to acknowledge the caring moments of fatherhood that often go overlooked.”

    And that making idiots of half your customers is idiotic.

  • honordads 12:32 pm on 08/25/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , , , fathering   

    FatherVision: The Curse of Hating Children. “Let’s take all the statistics and case studies and arguments from the articles mentioned above and tell it like it is: Our culture hates children.”

    Pope John Paul II predicted this.

  • honordads 11:46 am on 08/25/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , fathering   

    Shock and Awe – The Unexpected Dad

    I will admit right now that I am pretty clueless about what it will be like to be a father, how to act as a father, what to do and even what we will need when we bring our new baby home. I know I will make a ton of mistakes along the way, but I also know that I will learn a lot as God guides me through the process.

    That’s the idea, brother.

  • honordads 9:36 am on 08/25/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , fathering   

    The Coat in the Backseat of My Car – A father’s reflections on a girl growing up.

  • honordads 3:12 pm on 08/21/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , , fathering, , , , , , , ,   

    Why is the State Arresting So Many Parents?

  • honordads 11:45 am on 08/21/2014 Permalink
    Tags: fathering   

    Action Items For a New Dad

  • honordads 5:17 am on 08/20/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , , fathering, ,   

    Reads: The Making of Men, by Dr. Arne Rubinstein. Podcast with the author, discussing boys and rights of passage in Australia, at the link.

  • honordads 12:14 pm on 08/19/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , , fathering   


  • honordads 9:39 am on 08/19/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , , , fathering, , , ,   

    Sexist, insulting and stereotypical: The Early Learning Centre (ELC), a UK-based chain of toyshops, courted controversy yesterday by choosing to insult one of its main groups of customers—Dads!

    In a poorly considered attempt at corporate humour, the retailer, which operates around 300 stores in 20 countries, shared a branded meme on Twitter and Facebook suggesting that the only role that dads play in childcare is telling their kids where mum is.

    Fathers across the UK reacted angrily to the suggestion that mums face a long list of demands from their kids (eg “I’m hungry, “I’m cold”, “she hit me”, “can I have?” etc) while the only demand that dads have to deal with is: “where’s Mum?”.

    Tom, a father of two and primary school teacher from Worcestershire, who writes the blog Daddy Daydream, described the meme as: “very, very insulting to all those Dads who look after their families.”

    Insulting your customers is stupid. Especially when….

    According to a survey by Netmums, nine out of ten parents now think that TV dads do not reflect the contribution that fathers make to family life in the real world. Three out of ten went further and said the way dads are portrayed in the media is a “subtle form of discrimination”.

    Fatherists. This sort of #misandry should not go unpunished. And it ain’t subtle.

    Related: Harvard Business Review: Customers Demand and Deserve Respect

  • honordads 6:48 pm on 08/18/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , , , fathering, , ,   

    Megan McArdle: Money Won’t Buy Your Kids a Future

    Having grown up in New York City and attended an expensive college, I invariably came into contact with quite a few people who had sizable inheritances or trust funds coming to them. Over the years, I’ve grown quite sincerely glad that I wasn’t one of them. I can’t claim to have any scientific data, of course, but in my experience, too many of those people were always about to do something but never got to the point of actually having done it. They got jobs but left them when the job proved to be tiresome, or when they had a major setback such as a terrible performance review. They didn’t need to make a career in order to put food on the table, and that kept them from doing the often painful and unpleasant work of getting really good at their jobs. And ultimately, they weren’t happy about that. Their money protected them from the very real miseries of being broke. But it also protected them from the sweet smell of success.

    Broke is fine. That doesn’t mean leaving them unprepared.

  • honordads 1:34 pm on 08/18/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , fathering, , , , ,   

    On Disney, Daughters, and Dads

    What is most sophisticated and wonderful about each of these women is that none of them are effective at the expense of her femininity. Disney’s women have come of age. They are strong, smart, even sexy. The change is unmistakable. These women of action, unlike their predecessors, are out of the house, (or the sea), confident and courageous.

    Then there are the fathers. In most of the old movies, there is a single female parent. In all three new movies, there is a single male parent. Interesting switch. Has the depiction of fathers as primary caretakers improved to the same degree as the view of young women? One could argue that at least they exist! However, in each of the movies mentioned, the father is a tyrant, a buffoon, or both.

    But not in all cases, apparently:

    There are, of course, capable fathers among Disney’s characters. Geppetto, Pinnochio’s father, is caring and courageous. In The Jungle Book, Bagheera and Baloo team up to take care of Mowgli and see him safely back to the man’s village; while one lacks a sense of humor and the other lacks a sense of responsibility, combined they make a pretty good paternal pair. My favorite father is Pongo of One Hundred and One Dalmatians. The newest Disney dad, The Lion King’s Mufasa, is a fine feline father, at once powerful and playful, stern and sensitive. These latter two movies are among the few Disney families with both a mother and father.

    There is an important difference between these positively portrayed papas and the faltering fathers of Ariel, Belle, and Jasmine. These dads care for sons. Pinnochio, Mowgli, the Dalmatian pups, and Simba are all boys. The message seems to be that when caring for boys, a father is competent and even heroic, but when caring for girls, a father is bungling and brainless.

  • honordads 11:28 am on 08/18/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , , , fathering, , , ,   

    Stasi: Robin Williams’ $30M alimony to ex-wives contributed to his death. It certainly didn’t help.

    Related: Dr. Helen: “Of the more than 38,000 suicides in this country, over 30,000 are by men, yet the suicide studies remain small? Why?”


  • honordads 9:24 am on 08/18/2014 Permalink
    Tags: fathering   

    Man stuff (via)

  • honordads 8:33 am on 08/18/2014 Permalink
    Tags: fathering   

    10 fatherhood stereotypes and why they just aren’t true. This one’s worth the click.

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