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  • don bosch 6:13 am on 07/07/2016 Permalink
    Tags: fatherhood   

    Solway: When a Culture Unmans Itself

    The signs of anti-male bias are everywhere we look. The university, for example, has become a veritable minefield for male students, who may at any time be hauled before an administrative tribunal and their careers put in jeopardy for sexual misconduct, however trivial or ambiguous. A recent memo from my wife’s university mandates a statement against “sexual violence” in all course syllabi—mind you, nothing against harassing and lying about one’s professor for a better grade, shutting down conservative, Zionist, pro-Life or anti-feminist speakers, perpetrating racist hoaxes, denouncing the teaching of good English and male authors as forms of “microagression,” or any of the other violations of civil conduct that we have witnessed on university campuses recently. The only sexist harassment that takes place regularly in academia is feminist harassment of male students and staff—but that is considered not intimidation but enlightened practice.

    Is it any wonder, then, that even our military is being insidiously weakened? Responding to a vehement attack on supposed martial dishonor by a former Supreme Court justice, it has turned from its primary task of defending the country to counseling its soldiers against what it regards as sexual delinquency by issuing wallet cards listing “inappropriate behaviors.” These include “sexual assault, sexual interference, sexual exploitation, offensive sexual remarks or unacceptable language or jokes, unwelcome requests of a sexual nature or verbal abuse of a sexual nature, voyeurism, indecent acts and publishing intimate images of a person without their consent.” The fact is, most men in the civilized West are not sexual predators or unreconstructed brutes but most men do tend to joke and flirt and make off-color remarks and otherwise show an interest in women, whether sexual or romantic, in virtue of being men. More to the point, if men are no longer permitted to be men, how then can they be soldiers?

    When manliness is eliminated from a culture fixated on the supposedly corrupt and vicious nature of masculinity, while armies of apologetic White Knights and self-abnegating feminist allies (aka “manginas”) come to replace a diminishing platoon of alpha males—“We live in a world run by betas and their lady friends,” quips J.R. Dunn in a prescient article for American Thinker—the writing is on the wall.

    It all started with the successful demolishing of fatherhood.

  • don bosch 8:50 am on 02/23/2016 Permalink
    Tags: fatherhood, , goodmenproject,   

    Bumped (scroll down for updates)…

    Good Men Project: We can no longer ignore or downplay the ripple effect of broken families Even GMP is right once in a while.

    Related: Why Aren’t We Discussing Fatherlessness?

    Here we are at the beginning of an election year. We’ve had over a dozen debates between the Republicans and the Democrats. We’ve had plenty of drama. We’ve had surprising dropouts and upsets. But we have not heard any discussion of fatherlessness.

    Perhaps it seems like an odd complaint, wanting to talk about dads when we have so many other problems. Besides the huge foreign policy issues of American action abroad and immigration policy on our borders, we face depressing domestic issues such as the lagging economy, rising health care expenses, the ballooning federal budget, and flailing educational achievement. But those domestic issues are actually the reasons I wonder why we are not talking about fatherlessness.

    Fatherlessness is on the rise. It is causally linked to an array of social risk factors. While there are success stories in single-parent households, children raised without a father in the home are more at risk for dropping out of school, using drugs, having emotional problems, and becoming involved in crime, just to name a few.

    Each of these individual risk trends can impact health care expenses, education, the budget and economy as well as public safety. Taken together they look like the root problem for many of our societal ills. The body of research confirming fathersimportance grows. We even have studies looking at the stunning public cost of fatherlessness. Yet our politicians do not discuss fatherlessness as a policy matter.

    For the Republican side, I have a theory: the “War on Women” smear hovers ominously over all Republicans, especially men. Republican politicians have been threatened to within an inch of their funding if they mention anything that could be turned into a sexist trope. But claiming that dads matter isn’t at risk of becoming a sexist trope, it is a favored sexist trope. Feminists have been turning dads into patriarchal, sexist abusers for decades. Granted, this is falling out of favor among younger feminists. Older, Boomer feminists hide their anti-male assumptions behind pro-woman rhetoric; only the younger feminists don’t like the sleight of hand. Feminists as a group, however, are just realizing their gender gap and trying to come to terms with it. While they sort that out, our politicians remain cautious. They are too afraid to discuss fatherlessness beyond personal stories.

    Answer: (a) Fatherhood has lousy lobbyists in D.C. (b) Nobody’s afraid of them. (c) They’re too busy working to support their families. (d) All of the above.

    UPDATE: From a related comment, “It’s a good question. Of course, she fails to ask: why aren’t we discussing the incentives government gives mothers to kick fathers out of their children’s lives?”

    Good point. Earlier thoughts on federally-funded child support sweatshops here.

  • don bosch 5:48 am on 01/30/2016 Permalink
    Tags: , fatherhood, , , , ,   


    Headline: Pentagon extends maternity and paternity leave for military families.

    military-father-and-babyDefense Sec. Ashton B. Carter announced a series of initiatives on Thursday designed to make the military a more family-friendly employer, extending maternity leave across the force and expanding access to child care and expensive reproductive technologies.

    “As we introduce today’s reforms, our calculation is quite simple,” Carter told reporters at the Pentagon. “We want our people to be able to balance two of the most solemn commitments they could ever make: a commitment to serve their country and a commitment to start and support a family.

    As part of the new measures, the Pentagon will now provide 12 continuous weeks of paid maternity leave for all uniformed service members. That will be a major jump for many service members, including those in the army, who now receive only 6 weeks of paid leave. It’s likely to be a disappointment to members of the Navy and Marine Corps who, under a change last year, receive 18 weeks of paid maternity leave. Carter said members of those services who are currently pregnant will be granted 18 rather than 12 weeks.

    “Twelve weeks is extremely generous … It puts us in the very top tiers of American employers,” Carter said. “But then, you have to balance that against the readiness costs associated with it.”

    Paternity leave will increase from 10 to 14 days.

    Because fathering is only 1/6th as important.

  • don bosch 10:07 am on 01/01/2016 Permalink
    Tags: , fatherhood, , star wars   

    Star Wars and the Crisis of Masculinity:

    Kylo Ren is the son of Han Solo and Princess Leia, characters from the original Star Wars films. Solo is a swashbuckling pilot and Leia (now a general) is a cunning military strategist. With a pedigree like that you would expect Ren to be an honorable warrior, but something has gone wrong—he rejects his parents, opting instead to follow the path of the grandfather he never knew, the evil Darth Vader. The Force Awakens is a weakly written script so we never find out what precisely motivates Ren, but judging by his behavior, his hostility and confusion might stem from the lack of male initiation. That is to say, Han Solo may have been hyper driving around the galaxy when he should have been raising his son.

    According to psychologist James Hollis, rites that provide for the initiation of young men into the world of adulthood are as crucial to male health as fresh air and food.

    Vadar’s dad was also a mystery, and Luke grew up not knowing his father (until Episode VI), but did take advantage of masculine role models in his life.

    Still, what Mark Judge is getting at – and I agree with – is how the almost biblical fatherhood blessings and curses made these stories so compelling and transcendent. 

    UPDATE: Dalrock:

    The problem isn’t just that feminists have managed to destroy our ability to even imagine noble masculinity, but that our conservatives are stuck living in a fantasy world where feminist rebellion isn’t happening.  As a result of this crippling conservative delusion, our most conservative institutions are focused not on encouraging a vision of respectable manhood but on destroying the idea of respectable manhood.  Who needs feminists to destroy our sense of manhood when we have Christian conservatives?

    In this sense Judge’s near miss analysis is emblematic of the very masculine malaise he is analyzing.  Judge cheers on Leia’s transformation from a princess to a bad ass general while seeking to find the explanation for the loss of the concept of noble manhood.  All he can see is the possibility that individual fathers are failing by not providing a ritual which would embody a forbidden concept…

  • don bosch 1:59 pm on 07/30/2015 Permalink
    Tags: fatherhood,   

    Fatherhood Leader – How You Can Get Started Online

    In my over three years working with fatherhood leaders and programs, I know you. You’re well-intentioned and care about people. You’re doing great work with great heart. But, you’re too busy doing this great work to talk about the great work. You don’t have time, staff, or energy to get started online. So you don’t…and no one is seeing your great impact. It bothers me that you aren’t getting the attention you deserve.

    I don’t have all of the answers. But, it seems to me, if you can get a small start with blogging and social media, you and others can quickly start to see the impact you’re having on fathers and families. I’m not talking about celebrity stuff here. I want you and your program to be seen. I want folks around you to see what you’re doing and I want it to inspire others to help dads. Let’s talk about how you, the super busy fatherhood leader, can get started online.

  • don bosch 1:33 pm on 06/18/2015 Permalink
    Tags: , fatherhood,   

    Screens: Five Memorable Movies about Dads

    UPDATE: The 10 Most Damaging Chick Flicks Ever Made

  • don bosch 3:23 pm on 02/27/2015 Permalink
    Tags: abraham, fatherhood   

    Chosen for Fatherhood:

    “The greatest political storm flutters only a fringe of humanity, but an ordinary man and an ordinary woman and their ordinary children will literally alter the destiny of nations.” –GK Chesterton

    I have some favorite dads in Scripture. The thing I love about them is that they are all ordinary men. The only thing that made them extraordinary was that God chose them and they said “yes.”

    Abraham is one of those men. “For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just so that the LORD will bring about for Abraham what He has promised him” (Genesis 18:19, NIV, emphasis added).

    What an awesome verse about God’s plan for fatherhood. Talk about the purpose driven life. Here is a purpose statement from God to each of us as dads. This is our call and this is our place.

  • don bosch 10:36 am on 01/29/2015 Permalink
    Tags: fatherhood, , , ,   

    Breitbart: Pope Francis Scolds Deadbeat Dads – Pope Francis pulled off his kid gloves Wednesday, denouncing in the strongest terms what he called a “society without fathers.”

    “Particularly in Western culture,” he said, the father figure is “symbolically absent, missing and removed.”

    At first, Francis explained, the absence of fathers “was perceived as a liberation: liberation from the father-master, from the father as a representative of the law that is imposed from the outside, from the father as a censor of the happiness of children and obstacle to the emancipation and autonomy of young people.”

    In his weekly audience, the Pope recognized that in the past especially there were cases of authoritarian, overbearing fathers who didn’t respect the personal needs of their children. Now, however, “we have gone from one extreme to the other,” he said.

    The real problem of our day, Francis said, “does not seem to be the intrusive presence of fathers anymore, but rather their absence and their inaction. Fathers are often so focused on themselves and on their work and sometimes on their individual accomplishments, that they can forget even the family, neglecting their children.”

    As bishop of Buenos Aires, Francis reflected, “I felt the sense of orphanhood that many young people live today. And I would often ask dads whether they were playing with their children, if they had the courage and love to spend time with their children. And in most cases the answer wasn’t pretty: ‘I really can’t, because I have so much work.’ And the father was absent from that child who was growing up, not playing with him, and not spending time with him,” he said.

    A little harsh?

    Some of you will tell me, the Pope concluded, “‘Father, today you were too negative. You spoke only of the absence of fathers, and of what happens when fathers are not close to the children.’ It’s true, I did want to emphasize this, because next Wednesday I will continue this catechesis and I will highlight the beauty of fatherhood.”

    “This is why I chose to start from the dark to get to the light. May the Lord help us to understand these things,” he said.

    Stay tuned.

    UPDATE/More: A society without fathers is a society of orphans

    In his general audience catechesis, Pope Francis turned to the role of fathers, saying that they play an irreplaceable role in family life, and their absence leaves children prey to false idols.

    “When children feel neglected by fathers who focus only on their problems, on their work or their own personal realization, this creates a situation of orphans in the children and youth of today, who live disoriented, without the good example or prudent guidance of a father,” the Pope said Jan. 28.

    Pope Francis directed his words to pilgrims gathered in the Vatican’s Paul VI Hall for his Wednesday general audience address. Continuing his catechesis on the family, the pontiff spoke on the theme of fatherhood.

    The Pope’s reflection falls after a separate general audience address on the role of mothers earlier this month, during which he hailed motherhood as the “antidote to individualism.”

    In today’s society, the word “father” is a reality understood throughout world and which transcends history, the Roman Pontiff told today’s audience participants.

    This word, he said, is the one “which Jesus taught us to call God, giving new depth and richness to the mystery of the intimacy of God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, which is the center of our Christian faith.” 

    Never underestimate how badly the Devil hates fathers.

  • don bosch 8:16 am on 01/26/2015 Permalink
    Tags: , , fatherhood, , racism   

    Pushing back twice as hard: Father of bullies fired after Minnesota man takes Snapchat harassment of his daughter into his own hands.

  • don bosch 8:30 am on 01/22/2015 Permalink
    Tags: comedy, fatherhood,   

    Jim Gaffigan on fatherhood.

  • don bosch 9:07 am on 01/19/2015 Permalink
    Tags: fatherhood, ,   

    Research: Victorian fathers were great Dads.

    Dr Julie-Marie Strange, a social historian at Manchester University, has written a book, “Fatherhood and the British Working Class, 1865-1914”, which looked at scores of accounts by ordinary people of life in the period, The Daily Telegraph reported.

    “There is a stereotype of the Victorian father which has become a bit of a joke, he is meant to be very strict, completely humourless, a little bit of a hypocrite and definitely not fun, in fact rather severe,” she said.

    “With working class fathers where there is an added dimension of the stereotype being extremely negative, sometimes alcoholic and often rather brutish.”

    However Dr Strange said most children described their experiences in a positive light.

    “The vast majority talked about fathers who were fun, who spent time with their kids in their spare time, fathers who taught their children to be interested in politics, history, religion and how things worked,” she said.

    The idea of distant Victorian fathers with too much stiff upper lip to express love for their children was largely created by later generations who wanted to show themselves in a good light compared to their ancestors.

    What also followed was a ruling class who largely believed that traditional fatherhood was no substitute for the benevolent State, and the loss of millions of good fathers in several wars.

    Myths are sustained by those who benefit from them.

  • don bosch 2:46 pm on 01/16/2015 Permalink
    Tags: , fatherhoo, fatherhood, , The Bonc, The Bond   

    NBC Today video: Three Fatherless Black Men Become Doctors.

    On the Today show 3 men tell their story of not having fathers in their lives and how they made a promise to each other to make it without their fathers involved.

    The video covers a lot more territory than this pull quote suggests. Doctors Sampson Davis, George Jenkins, and Rameck Hunt go into some depth about how tough it was growing up without fathers, and how vital that relationship is despite (or because of) their own experience. I was also impressed that the interviewer connected with them by also acknowledging that he too grew up fatherless. Definitely worth a watch.

    Get a copy of their important book The Bond – Three Young Men Learn to Forgive and Reconnect With Their Fathers here.

  • don bosch 9:20 am on 01/02/2015 Permalink
    Tags: fatherhood, ,   

    Men are Good and So Are Men Only Spaces

    [W]e have seen a systematic dismantling of male spaces over the last 40 years.  The prominent justification is that women are facing discrimination by being excluded from the men’s spaces with the implication that men are using all of their male only spaces to network and market and thus leaving women out and disadvantaged. Framed in this manner male only space was deemed sexist and the demands followed that male spaces need to change and incorporate women. There may be an ounce of truth in this idea but that is no reason to dismantle ALL male spaces. The feminist demonization of men strikes again and the public has followed along like a little puppy dog.

    At the same time that men’s spaces are being outlawed, women’s spaces are seen as sacred and rather than being opened to men have been expanded as women only.  Due to this 40 years of dismantling of male space and the opposite expansion of female only spaces there are very few places left that men can gather and just be men together.

    Part II here. This is an ancient and Biblical principle: When we want to honor someone or something, we create a place (palace, sacristy, museum, parent’s bedroom) for that purpose.

    Think about it. [Link fixed now! – HD])

  • don bosch 11:12 am on 12/30/2014 Permalink
    Tags: fatherhood, internet,   

    #HowToDad: Dad poses as preteen to nab online predator.

    How he resisted the urge to drive over and end the guy, I’ll never know.

  • don bosch 2:08 pm on 11/19/2014 Permalink
    Tags: fatherhood,   

    Dad is Destiny. More than virtually any other factor, a biological father’s presence in the family will determine a child’s success and happiness.
    — U.S. News & World Report, February 27, 1995

  • don bosch 8:09 am on 11/14/2014 Permalink
    Tags: fatherhood, transvestite   

    “Real men” give birth:

    While study authors acknowledge that they’re on the cutting edge, they think there may be thousands of mannish women with baby bumps out there, whose hearts break when someone calls them “she” just because they’ve got a bun in the oven. Haters. Oddly enough, some subjects felt their masculinity peaked during gestation, labor and birth. “Pregnancy and childbirth were very male experiences for me,” said a 29-year-old respondent in a study reported Friday in Obstetrics and Gynecology. “When I birthed my children, I was born into fatherhood.”

    It’s one thing to have lady parts and think you’re a man, but quite another to use those lady parts for a ladylike purpose, and think that it makes you more manly than ever.

    Au contraire. Been there 3 times with the Missus. You’d never get ME up on that delivery table…

  • don bosch 11:07 am on 10/11/2014 Permalink
    Tags: fatherhood, , literature,   

    Ancient Fatherhood.

    Countless volumes have been written on the causes, the outcomes, the historical accuracy and the characters of the Trojan War. Scholars have argued for 30 centuries about the themes that Homer wrote about – is the poem about love (Paris’ tragic love for Helen), about war (the greatest armies ever assembled), about pride (Agamemnon and Achilles falling out) or is it about the Gods themselves. Well, watching the film and remembering the book I think they’re all wrong. The Illiad is about fatherhood.

    Why? Because Homer himself tells us.

    Yep. Fatherhood is the original love.

  • don bosch 2:23 pm on 09/25/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , , fatherhood, , hispanic fathers, , ,   

    Listen: Our children naturally need a lot of instruction from us. But when was the last time you just hung out with your child and listened to them? Chuck Swindoll recalls such a time

  • don bosch 11:20 am on 09/18/2014 Permalink
    Tags: fatherhood, ,   

    After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before. All his brothers and sisters and everyone who had known him before came and ate with him in his house. They comforted and consoled him over all the trouble the Lord had brought on him, and each one gave him a piece of silver and a gold ring.

    The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part. He had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen and a thousand donkeys. And he also had seven sons and three daughters. The first daughter he named Jemimah, the second Keziah and the third Keren-Happuch. Nowhere in all the land were there found women as beautiful as Job’s daughters, and their father granted them an inheritance along with their brothers.

    After this, Job lived a hundred and forty years; he saw his children and their children to the fourth generation. And so Job died, an old man and full of years.

    — from the Last Chapter of the Old Testament Book of Job

  • don bosch 7:46 pm on 09/17/2014 Permalink
    Tags: African American Dads, , , , fatherhood,   

    (more celebration of black fatherhood here)

  • don bosch 9:01 am on 09/12/2014 Permalink
    Tags: fatherhood, manhood,   

    Yes. Adam Rust: Does Fatherhood Make Us Better Men?

  • don bosch 9:39 am on 09/10/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , , fatherhood   

    Peter Gasca: 8 Things My Dad Taught Me About Entrepreneurship and Life. It’s a great list.

  • don bosch 10:58 am on 09/09/2014 Permalink
    Tags: fatherhood, , , , respect   

    Day 44 of 100 Days of Advice on How to Treat Men Right: #44 Give your husband the space to be a father.

    There are many mothers who are so terrified of letting go of control of the family unit that the family no no longer works as mother/father team working together to raise child but as mother over father/child. This lack of faith in your husband stifles the family unit and suppresses the father role.

    These mothers/wives are not giving their husbands the space they need to be a father. They have jumped in to control the father role. This not only shows lack of trust when you don’t back off and let your husband do what comes naturally for him as a father but it also teaches your child to not trust their father to support them.

    Read the whole thing.

  • don bosch 11:00 am on 09/02/2014 Permalink
    Tags: fatherhood, , , teenagers   

    When it comes to dads, teens and household chores – humor helps.

  • don bosch 9:35 am on 08/27/2014 Permalink
    Tags: fatherhood, ,   

    Reddit helps with A father’s last wish:

    For the second time in a few weeks, the lovely users of Reddit have helped a grieving father with photos of his beautiful baby.

    Reddit user Jstefut posted a photo of his young son who died a few years ago. Because his son was in hospital during his short life, his father only had photos of him with tubes and wires attached.

    Having seen the amazing response a similar post on Reddit received last month, he posted the image online and asked if anyone could help remove the tubes.

    His message read: “Photoshop Request: My son passed away a few years ago after two short weeks in the hospital, and I have no pictures of him without all of the tubes.

  • don bosch 8:31 am on 08/26/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , fatherhood, , ,   

    The million father march – dads walking their kids to school – is the biggest movement you’ve probably never heard of. 

    The Million Father March is an opportunity for Black men to show their commitment to the educational lives of their children on the first day of school and throughout the school year.

    On the first day of school each year since the March began in 2004, Black fathers, relatives, men, and significant male caregivers are asked to take their children to their first day of school across the country and around the world. Fathers, grandfathers, foster fathers, stepfathers, uncles, cousins, big brothers, significant male caregivers and friends of the family will participate in the event.

    While this event was created for Black men, men and women of all races, nationalities and faith backgrounds are also encouraged to take children to school on this first day. The Black Star Project also asks elementary and high schools; school districts and school boards; colleges and universities; pre-schools, nursery schools, and Headstarts; public, private, parochial and religious schools; urban, suburban and rural schools to participate in this event.

    Additionally, we recruit the support of local school councils, community organizations, parent associations, faith-based organizations, government agencies, elected officials, chambers of commerce and businesses should support and participate in the Million Father March.

    Where’s Obama and Sharpton and all the rest?

    YOU, on the other hand, can register here to become your own community organizer, just like I did.

  • don bosch 8:23 am on 08/26/2014 Permalink
    Tags: fatherhood, ,   

    Survey: 80% of Dads Say Media Portrayals of Fatherhood Wrong

    Well this is a pleasant surprise: the media incorrectly depict fathers, according to today’s dads – and, for once, the media agree.

    Just in time for Father’s Day, soap brand Dove hired Edelman Berland to survey 1,000 dads for Dove Men+Care. The dads challenged the media’s representation of fathers – with 80 percent agreeing the media fail to portray fathers roles accurately. When asked what attributes describe fathers in the media, dads most frequently responded with “disconnected, bumbling and incompetent.” Videos Below.

    In regards to the media, Dove explained, “Three quarters of dads say they are responsible for their child’s emotional well-being, while only 20% of dads see this role reflected in media.” Other findings included: “Dads today are caring for their children’s emotional well-being (74%) and taking responsibility for their daily needs (51%).”

    The company concluded, “It’s time to acknowledge the caring moments of fatherhood that often go overlooked.”

    And that making idiots of half your customers is idiotic.

  • don bosch 3:58 pm on 08/25/2014 Permalink
    Tags: fatherhood, ,   

    Fred McCoy – 25 Rules And Lessons For My Future Son

    Though my life has been brief, I’ve learned a lot from watching the love of my life pass away, losing my father, being knocked out and knocking other people out. I’ve hunted and hiked. I’ve played with puppies and buried dogs. I haven’t traveled the world but I’ve found adventure after adventure in America alone. My interactions with many different people and my variety of experiences have helped shape what knowledge I think would be useful to the next generation of men.

    I’m sure as I grow older my views might change and so might these lessons, but as it currently stands, these are the morals and lessons I would like to instill in my child. This list is by no means representative of how other people should raise their children,this list is all me. I noticed another list posted recently by author Mel Rose entitled “25 Things I’ll Teach My Future Son” and while her list was mostly a complete faffery, this is not a response to the article.

    Read the whole thing. (hat tip)

  • don bosch 12:32 pm on 08/25/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , , fatherhood,   

    FatherVision: The Curse of Hating Children. “Let’s take all the statistics and case studies and arguments from the articles mentioned above and tell it like it is: Our culture hates children.”

    Pope John Paul II predicted this.

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